Thursday, March 01, 2007
I someone erased the post I made regarding my letter to Anna Nicole. To recreate it seems like it wasn't suppossed to be, so I will just settle for the blank space in my heart. I can remember my closing line. Sweet dreams Anna and warm snuggles with your son!
I someone erased the post I made regarding my letter to Anna Nicole. To recreate it seems like it wasn't suppossed to be, so I will just settle for the blank space in my heart. I can remember my closing line. Sweet dreams Anna and warm snuggles with your son!
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Kids!
Why is it when you finally turn the age that you think you have all the answers, somebody comes up with new questions?A while Back, Oprah, a Goddess of Good had turned 50, and since I have a couple of years on her as far as age, I looked at her celebration and paused for a moment to just stare in awe at the magnitude of expression for her passage of time. She shows me that my motto of "you get what you give" is not just fortune cookie language, but a practice that ages her well.At that very same moment I was receiving not only hugs and kisses from my newly rosy cheeked, just home from school kids, and now all three had quickly set about making me gifts of creations from their blow pen sets that gave me pages of messages that say, "I love You" and "Thank You Mom". Oprah may have her Tina turner and John Travolta, and a 400 lb cake, but I got the cream of the crop!
This morning I was not quite so sure that I was going to make it into the Perfect Parent roll call. As we set about to take off from school, my 5th grade Mistress of Manipulation had a melt down. Some where in between get your coat on, and don't let the dog out, she decided that I wasn't her driver of choice. A problem easily fixed unless the requested driver has already left, taken her number one brother to his school, blissfully unaware that the Demon of Indecision has taken over our child. Needless to say, logic was not going to play a huge role in persuading her to carry on with the requirement that she be educated for the day. So I quickly dropped off her brother number two at school, so that at least part of the family was complying with the school code.
Why do kids wait until you are exhilarated with the relieved expectation of what to do with all 5 hours of peace, when it's someone else's turn to remind them to cover their mouth when they cough and not to wipe the nose debris on their sleeve, when they pull the plug of contentment right out of the socket? As I stuttered to make good sense and pronounce enough punishments to last a lifetime, I could tell for some reason that she was yet unable to make the world aware of , she was going to be obstinate about this. Even the "I'm going to call the principal and ask him to come and get you!" wasn't working! I decided after I saw the drawn, dreary look on her face that something bigger than both of us must be at the center of this driver distraction. As she slumped to the floor ready to take on any amount of lecture, I knew something must really be wrong and that if ever a kid needed a mental health day, this one had her name on it.
I made one last effort to be the parent that I knew would live in the heart of my neighbor, who doesn't yield to any child's request for a change of schedule, no matter how desperate, I pulled out the big guns and called the afore mentioned driver, my husband! After a few minutes of hurried and rather muted discussion with him, where this Duchess of Discontent, was doing her best to read my lips, he came forth with the best he had to give by way of advice, which was " So what are you going to do?" That question and the fact that I couldn't offer the school any reasonable excuse for lateness that would put us beyond question, mostly due to the fact that the school had already been delayed for two hours due to the icy roads, so over sleeping was out of the question, I gave in. I called the school and did so twice, partly to make sure they heard me correctly and didn't call me on the spur of the moment where I knew I couldn't manage to present a calm, intelligent, response and secondly because I couldn't believe I was doing this after all my declarations of dragging her into the building by her pony tail!
I simply called and very clearly explained that she got sick on the way to school. Of course I didn't mention we hadn't even got as far as the car, and that her brand of sickness that day was, I was praying, a temporary bout of insanity.As my spouse returned, entering slowly so as not disturb any battleground that might have risen up from where he left, I thought he might offer either some words of wisdom to me, or at the very least, begin some intense investigation with her of what the heck was going on? The magical words of comfort that you could tell he carefully chose, floated through the air, and came to form the sentence, directed to both of us, as we stood there not quite sure where the neutral zone existed, " So where do you want to go to lunch?"
I was surprised to say the least, and for a moment you could actually hear the gasp hanging in the air, but after looking at that dear, sweet, frail but now confused face, I responded " I don't know, where do you want to go?"So, as I hugged her and let her know that she was and would always be the light of my life, and now as I look back on the events of the day, I reflect that, some mysteries of life might be okay to leave as mysteries, as long as they don't become the continuing drama of daily life!And just in case........., hubby can drive tomorrow!
Why is it when you finally turn the age that you think you have all the answers, somebody comes up with new questions?A while Back, Oprah, a Goddess of Good had turned 50, and since I have a couple of years on her as far as age, I looked at her celebration and paused for a moment to just stare in awe at the magnitude of expression for her passage of time. She shows me that my motto of "you get what you give" is not just fortune cookie language, but a practice that ages her well.At that very same moment I was receiving not only hugs and kisses from my newly rosy cheeked, just home from school kids, and now all three had quickly set about making me gifts of creations from their blow pen sets that gave me pages of messages that say, "I love You" and "Thank You Mom". Oprah may have her Tina turner and John Travolta, and a 400 lb cake, but I got the cream of the crop!
This morning I was not quite so sure that I was going to make it into the Perfect Parent roll call. As we set about to take off from school, my 5th grade Mistress of Manipulation had a melt down. Some where in between get your coat on, and don't let the dog out, she decided that I wasn't her driver of choice. A problem easily fixed unless the requested driver has already left, taken her number one brother to his school, blissfully unaware that the Demon of Indecision has taken over our child. Needless to say, logic was not going to play a huge role in persuading her to carry on with the requirement that she be educated for the day. So I quickly dropped off her brother number two at school, so that at least part of the family was complying with the school code.
Why do kids wait until you are exhilarated with the relieved expectation of what to do with all 5 hours of peace, when it's someone else's turn to remind them to cover their mouth when they cough and not to wipe the nose debris on their sleeve, when they pull the plug of contentment right out of the socket? As I stuttered to make good sense and pronounce enough punishments to last a lifetime, I could tell for some reason that she was yet unable to make the world aware of , she was going to be obstinate about this. Even the "I'm going to call the principal and ask him to come and get you!" wasn't working! I decided after I saw the drawn, dreary look on her face that something bigger than both of us must be at the center of this driver distraction. As she slumped to the floor ready to take on any amount of lecture, I knew something must really be wrong and that if ever a kid needed a mental health day, this one had her name on it.
I made one last effort to be the parent that I knew would live in the heart of my neighbor, who doesn't yield to any child's request for a change of schedule, no matter how desperate, I pulled out the big guns and called the afore mentioned driver, my husband! After a few minutes of hurried and rather muted discussion with him, where this Duchess of Discontent, was doing her best to read my lips, he came forth with the best he had to give by way of advice, which was " So what are you going to do?" That question and the fact that I couldn't offer the school any reasonable excuse for lateness that would put us beyond question, mostly due to the fact that the school had already been delayed for two hours due to the icy roads, so over sleeping was out of the question, I gave in. I called the school and did so twice, partly to make sure they heard me correctly and didn't call me on the spur of the moment where I knew I couldn't manage to present a calm, intelligent, response and secondly because I couldn't believe I was doing this after all my declarations of dragging her into the building by her pony tail!
I simply called and very clearly explained that she got sick on the way to school. Of course I didn't mention we hadn't even got as far as the car, and that her brand of sickness that day was, I was praying, a temporary bout of insanity.As my spouse returned, entering slowly so as not disturb any battleground that might have risen up from where he left, I thought he might offer either some words of wisdom to me, or at the very least, begin some intense investigation with her of what the heck was going on? The magical words of comfort that you could tell he carefully chose, floated through the air, and came to form the sentence, directed to both of us, as we stood there not quite sure where the neutral zone existed, " So where do you want to go to lunch?"
I was surprised to say the least, and for a moment you could actually hear the gasp hanging in the air, but after looking at that dear, sweet, frail but now confused face, I responded " I don't know, where do you want to go?"So, as I hugged her and let her know that she was and would always be the light of my life, and now as I look back on the events of the day, I reflect that, some mysteries of life might be okay to leave as mysteries, as long as they don't become the continuing drama of daily life!And just in case........., hubby can drive tomorrow!
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
When I think of the total posts that I have accumlated, it still seems I am an infant in terms of putting to words the thoughts that rattle around in my head. Finding time to think and put anything into phrases seems to be at a premium these days.
Anyway, while the kids are playing with their new eye toy gismo, and the tube is featuring the media's impression of my political party, I hope I can spare a few minutes!
Oh How I wish I could look outside my window and see the waves slapping the beach. I miss the shore! It was a nice break to just past the time away watching them with my spouse. However I could have lived without the Candian lass who needed to have a shoulder, namely my husbands, to lean on as she learned she was soon to be parting company with their employer. Also didn't need to get him concerned and pushing the panic button about his job security. Pretty much tranformed the rest of the week into a watch and worry situation. I hope that he is able to accomplish this week what he set out to do in terms of his certification goals.
Birthday mania almost over, disappointed however in the lack of response for Temp's party, at least there is a couple! Summer is a difficult time to arrange for a sleepover, too many people on vacation.
I need to start setting some goals for myself for this school year, they seem to come and go so fast. I would like to put into practice more writing skills. I would like to do some planning of some mini trips in the future. I would like to really look at getting closer to the ocean for a permanent residence. I would like to take a more active part in planning the future of my heart health, do some research for some hospitals, and devices for the valve replacement. I would like to look at Sage's next educational step, check out what some of the small Christian or otherwise schools would be available to him. Sounds like I am filling up the plate, but time that I gave myself some food for thought!
Well the kids are nearing the "stop now before we have a wrestling match started" and should get into the sack,so that they are ready for the park tomorrow, which means hugs and kisses and my full attention! Until the next time!
Anyway, while the kids are playing with their new eye toy gismo, and the tube is featuring the media's impression of my political party, I hope I can spare a few minutes!
Oh How I wish I could look outside my window and see the waves slapping the beach. I miss the shore! It was a nice break to just past the time away watching them with my spouse. However I could have lived without the Candian lass who needed to have a shoulder, namely my husbands, to lean on as she learned she was soon to be parting company with their employer. Also didn't need to get him concerned and pushing the panic button about his job security. Pretty much tranformed the rest of the week into a watch and worry situation. I hope that he is able to accomplish this week what he set out to do in terms of his certification goals.
Birthday mania almost over, disappointed however in the lack of response for Temp's party, at least there is a couple! Summer is a difficult time to arrange for a sleepover, too many people on vacation.
I need to start setting some goals for myself for this school year, they seem to come and go so fast. I would like to put into practice more writing skills. I would like to do some planning of some mini trips in the future. I would like to really look at getting closer to the ocean for a permanent residence. I would like to take a more active part in planning the future of my heart health, do some research for some hospitals, and devices for the valve replacement. I would like to look at Sage's next educational step, check out what some of the small Christian or otherwise schools would be available to him. Sounds like I am filling up the plate, but time that I gave myself some food for thought!
Well the kids are nearing the "stop now before we have a wrestling match started" and should get into the sack,so that they are ready for the park tomorrow, which means hugs and kisses and my full attention! Until the next time!
Monday, July 05, 2004
Today was a good day with the kids. They arrived home safely which I am very thankful for, however Temp shared many concerns about her Dad's health. She expressed fear and concern over his shaky, profuse sweating and said that he told them that he was not able to sleep all week, his medicine was not working and that he was sick. He looked awful when he came for the kids, he couldn't stop shaking to even drive, his Mom had to come and drive them. The kids also mentioned that he was not able to sleep all weekend and kept them awake by playing loud music and working on the computer all night. This sounds scary to me, and his parents are fully aware since he is living there.
Bob is soon to be on a plane home and I am excited about that, we will both enjoy our time together next week, and I am so looking forward to it.
I have begun a new thing in my life that has been very rewarding so far, and that is a new friendship. She is a grandmother like myself that is raising her two grandchildren. She is very honest and open and
funny! We share a lot of the same opinions and feelings on things and are able to just laugh about our experiences. This has been a precious gift to me!She also has an amazing optimistic spirit that is so soothing. It is hard to really share with others the situation that befalls a person who suddenly finds themselves as a caregiver to little ones again, and with Bob traveling it is many times when that I feel like I am on an island. I feel like she has handed me a paddle and said, I will help you row the boat, if you also help me! I am looking forward to learning more about her in the future. We are planning to do lots of nice things with our family, so the future will bring some good times together I am sure. She is a little younger than me, Bob's age so we have that in common too.
All in all I am feeling very lucky lately, I am due to have some tests that I have this time every year, so with all good hope they will come out fine. Looking forward to the rest of this week, it is Sage's birthday and Bob's coming home!
Bob is soon to be on a plane home and I am excited about that, we will both enjoy our time together next week, and I am so looking forward to it.
I have begun a new thing in my life that has been very rewarding so far, and that is a new friendship. She is a grandmother like myself that is raising her two grandchildren. She is very honest and open and
funny! We share a lot of the same opinions and feelings on things and are able to just laugh about our experiences. This has been a precious gift to me!She also has an amazing optimistic spirit that is so soothing. It is hard to really share with others the situation that befalls a person who suddenly finds themselves as a caregiver to little ones again, and with Bob traveling it is many times when that I feel like I am on an island. I feel like she has handed me a paddle and said, I will help you row the boat, if you also help me! I am looking forward to learning more about her in the future. We are planning to do lots of nice things with our family, so the future will bring some good times together I am sure. She is a little younger than me, Bob's age so we have that in common too.
All in all I am feeling very lucky lately, I am due to have some tests that I have this time every year, so with all good hope they will come out fine. Looking forward to the rest of this week, it is Sage's birthday and Bob's coming home!
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Well the last blog that I thought I did, I just realized didn't show, hopefully this one works today. That's what I get for being technically challenged. I haven't heard from Bob for a while, I thought I would hear today, so that is a little scary. Maybe he is just too busy.
I was really nervous when their Dad came to pick up the kids, he was shaking so bad that he had to bring his Mom to drive! Why do they come get the kids if he can't function??? I have been so nervous all weekend, I can't wait to go get them tomorrow, yet since it is their Holiday I have to wait until 8!
Time to go get Clarence out of the kennel. I should have gotten him sooner but I couldn't do the carrying down the stairs thing. I have to take him back on Friday, so he will be one disturbed little puppy.
This day was busy in spite of what I wanted to do, I will have to save the painting the end table for another weekend, at least I got some things put away that I had been putting off. Well I am ready to end the night and tomorrow is a big laundry day, as well as hoping I hear from dear old hubby! Nite!
I was really nervous when their Dad came to pick up the kids, he was shaking so bad that he had to bring his Mom to drive! Why do they come get the kids if he can't function??? I have been so nervous all weekend, I can't wait to go get them tomorrow, yet since it is their Holiday I have to wait until 8!
Time to go get Clarence out of the kennel. I should have gotten him sooner but I couldn't do the carrying down the stairs thing. I have to take him back on Friday, so he will be one disturbed little puppy.
This day was busy in spite of what I wanted to do, I will have to save the painting the end table for another weekend, at least I got some things put away that I had been putting off. Well I am ready to end the night and tomorrow is a big laundry day, as well as hoping I hear from dear old hubby! Nite!
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Its has been a very busy beginning of summer. Drated gnats or biters are still with us so I can't be as constant at the computer chair in the evening which used to be the time the kids were doing their thing.
Got a chance to be with Genevie last week. Oh my goodness she is growing so fast, she is remarkable, knows all her body parts, can really comprehend at 18 months she just stuns me! In pull ups all ready, the other grandparents, are doing an amazing job! I know she is still only spending limited time with her Mom and Dad. Quite the little actress! However,I was ready to hand her back over to the grandfather after three days, she turned the house upside down, not to mention getting little sleep with her being so mobile and waking up constantly fearing a new enviroment.
Teal's arm is now out of the cast however he was a basket case getting it off, screamed more than at the surgery itself. Still has to behave for the next three weeks as if it is still on. That will be a miracle.
Another crises came up this week for Teal, his sister told his brother about his potential bio Dad and his brother decided to tell Teal's best friend at a birthday party they both attended who in turn told Teal while at school. He came to me with the question this past week. I was really hurtin for him, what a way to find out! and my feeeling is that his mother should not have told a 8 year old , Temp at the time, who could not keep such a large secret who in turns tells brother who is equally unable to keep us a huge secret, I think that was once again very selfish of her. And we were waiting for her who is responsible for such situation to tell him when it was best for him. Now he is feeling all kinds of freaky, his words, and insecure. Poor baby!!!!!!! He is the one with most of the self esteem issues anyway and now this just sent him over the edge.
Injured myself again this week, trying to move all the furniture around. I tried to move the 32 inch TV, so Bob wouldn't have to do it when he came home this past weekend, but it didn't work. Sporting two rather huge brusies on my arms. After we purchased and built another TV stand this weekend, I am satified with the room arrangement...... for now!
Park started yesterday, the boys are excited and love to go, Temp is not. She is bored with it, however staying and laying in bed all day is not an option. I told her she has to run errands with me. Complaints galore, sorry but life doesn't take place from under the sheets, oh if it could. Order your groceries, do the laundry, go buy undies......and put them away. Oh well I can dream can't I, so for the time being, until the sun offically comes up here I think I shall go and put my head under the covers! Goodnight/ or Good Morning depending upon which way you look at it. LOL!
Got a chance to be with Genevie last week. Oh my goodness she is growing so fast, she is remarkable, knows all her body parts, can really comprehend at 18 months she just stuns me! In pull ups all ready, the other grandparents, are doing an amazing job! I know she is still only spending limited time with her Mom and Dad. Quite the little actress! However,I was ready to hand her back over to the grandfather after three days, she turned the house upside down, not to mention getting little sleep with her being so mobile and waking up constantly fearing a new enviroment.
Teal's arm is now out of the cast however he was a basket case getting it off, screamed more than at the surgery itself. Still has to behave for the next three weeks as if it is still on. That will be a miracle.
Another crises came up this week for Teal, his sister told his brother about his potential bio Dad and his brother decided to tell Teal's best friend at a birthday party they both attended who in turn told Teal while at school. He came to me with the question this past week. I was really hurtin for him, what a way to find out! and my feeeling is that his mother should not have told a 8 year old , Temp at the time, who could not keep such a large secret who in turns tells brother who is equally unable to keep us a huge secret, I think that was once again very selfish of her. And we were waiting for her who is responsible for such situation to tell him when it was best for him. Now he is feeling all kinds of freaky, his words, and insecure. Poor baby!!!!!!! He is the one with most of the self esteem issues anyway and now this just sent him over the edge.
Injured myself again this week, trying to move all the furniture around. I tried to move the 32 inch TV, so Bob wouldn't have to do it when he came home this past weekend, but it didn't work. Sporting two rather huge brusies on my arms. After we purchased and built another TV stand this weekend, I am satified with the room arrangement...... for now!
Park started yesterday, the boys are excited and love to go, Temp is not. She is bored with it, however staying and laying in bed all day is not an option. I told her she has to run errands with me. Complaints galore, sorry but life doesn't take place from under the sheets, oh if it could. Order your groceries, do the laundry, go buy undies......and put them away. Oh well I can dream can't I, so for the time being, until the sun offically comes up here I think I shall go and put my head under the covers! Goodnight/ or Good Morning depending upon which way you look at it. LOL!
Friday, May 28, 2004
I can't believe that it is almost summertime here, well the weather has indicated that it has been summer for a while now. Talking to myself has been scare lately, too many things to do. The biters,( those little hard to see mean little buggies) are sleeping so I can stand to sit here for a little.
Bob is still hanging out in the city that boasts brightest lights and empty pockets. He is going to fly in for a visit on his way to Conn. And then after soon back to Korea. It is so amazing to me that when we got married about 28 years ago, I never thought of my living most of my life alone. I guess it sucks, I am not really sure, most of the time I have no real time to think about it.
Confused Daughter is angry with me again because the people she had alienated from me had the how dare you moment to give me a hug and apologize for causing Teal's broken arm, and telling me that they would work harder to work together. The kids informed her from the other grandparents making a big deal about it, I didn't I have heard
itbefore, so I am little more cautious now a days.
The forum seems to be changing and not quite what to make of it, I participate as I can. Have to catch up on reading other's blogs, way behind, but with summer coming that may change. Who knows, well enough for now soon time to start everybody else's day. Linda
Bob is still hanging out in the city that boasts brightest lights and empty pockets. He is going to fly in for a visit on his way to Conn. And then after soon back to Korea. It is so amazing to me that when we got married about 28 years ago, I never thought of my living most of my life alone. I guess it sucks, I am not really sure, most of the time I have no real time to think about it.
Confused Daughter is angry with me again because the people she had alienated from me had the how dare you moment to give me a hug and apologize for causing Teal's broken arm, and telling me that they would work harder to work together. The kids informed her from the other grandparents making a big deal about it, I didn't I have heard
itbefore, so I am little more cautious now a days.
The forum seems to be changing and not quite what to make of it, I participate as I can. Have to catch up on reading other's blogs, way behind, but with summer coming that may change. Who knows, well enough for now soon time to start everybody else's day. Linda
